HOOLET'S TOP TIPS

Over the past few years readers have from time to time sent in their tips to help the busy GP. Previously unpublished we have decided to share a selection of them with you as an occasional feature.

Afraid of being attacked by vicious dogs on house calls? Simply get your local butcher to supply you with a large bag of bones to take with you on your rounds. The bones can be thrown to the dogs to distract them when you call!
Dr J Glibthorpe, Glasgow

Reduce your tax bill by living abroad and conducting your surgeries by phone.
Dr R J Richfellow, Caymen Islands

Put elderly patients at their ease by spilling bright food stuffs on your shirt and tie. Spraying some water on your trousers completes the ‘I’m just like you’ look!
Dr T M Spliceman, Paisley

No one to act as a chaperone? Simply demolish the wall between your surgery and the one next door. You and your partner can chaperone each other!
Mrs P Hamforth Practice Manager, Fife

Did you know that a stethoscope is not just an item to be worn by junior doctors to impress the opposite sex? My trainer has advised me to use it for listen to the chests of patients with breathing problems. You would be amazed at the noises I’ve heard!
Dr K Youngunn GPR, Aberdeen

Finding your surgeries boring? Simply convert the drawers in your desk into a cocktail cabinet. Things will seem much better after the third vodka martini.
Dr B Scrozzell, Edinburgh

Not sure what to do when patient cry in your surgery? Always keep a supply of boiled sweets to hand - it is impossible to cry when your mouth is full of them!
Dr Ivy Lusst, Inverness

Surprised by how little your GPR knows? Afraid of how much training they require? Save time and money by sending them to the local medical library and making them read all the books there.
Dr Alf Scrotworthy, Dundee

Put young children at ease in the surgery by flicking their ears playfully.
Dr I Dunniday, Stirling

Do you have any top tips for your colleagues? Send them to hoolet. A book token and hoolet badge will reward all those we publish.

hoolet is the magazine of RCGP Scotland. It is supported intellectually, financially and emotionally by RCGP Scotland.

This issue maintained by Robert Hallam.