SWIMMING TO THE HOLY ISLE

By Alie Bodie
Contact the author via the editor by e-mail at christopher.johnstone@ntlworld.com

Tonight I sat in the rain watching two mad swimmers bobbing about in the very cold waters of Loch Tay at Kenmore. I was pleading illness as my reason for not taking part, too easy to do when the world thinks you are knocking on Heaven's door anytime now....to tell the truth I have a sports injury. It happened yesterday when taking part in my favourite sport, shopping. I pulled a muscle sprinting between Sam Thomas and Per Una in Perth just before closing time. And I'm tired, but [whispering now] its nothing to do with the Big C, and much to do with the excellent bottle of Rioja I downed at 3 am last night...

I had a tiring day at Opthamology in PRI, in search of cause of flickering lights in my right eye - very annoying as I’ve had them over a week now. The doc put drops in to see the back of my eye. Of course, I should have known I'd then be blind as a bat but, gingerly drove home anyway, avoiding any blur that looked like a car or a pedestrian.

Sadly I don't have the hoped for torn retina, so must now fester over a brain scan, the week after next. I know from past experience my brain is all pink and glittery inside, and I’m hoping its just as nice, pretty and nondescript as last time. No surprises please.

Anyhow, I digress...back to the swimmers. My brother Guy and Dr Graeme McCrory of Pitlochry are training for the Lamlash Splash. Graeme looks [according to his staff] like a giant condom in his specially bought wetsuit, his orange hat topping off the outfit. Actually I think he looks dead sexy in it but don't tell! My brother somehow thinks his training will take care of itself and he will float across on the big day. God will deposit him on Lamlash Pier without any effort from him. Hopefully the sea will be calm so he can stop for the odd puff on the way. Anne Johnstone claims to be training in her chest freezer covered in grease, ummmm...she has also had the bright idea of dancing naked round Machrie Standing Stone. Guy and Graeme think this is a fun idea, but in case I make anyone nervous, I'd better opt out, looking much like the sawn in half magician's assistant! Someone might faint. I do have a nice tan though... The swim is on the 26th Sept. I managed to persuade Diana Russell of Westgate to join us in the Clyde, assuring her of the nice warm water and easy glide across...I think around 12 of us are swimming and several others on Arran are in on it too. We plan to get the garden at the Maggies Centre in Dundee started. Charles Jencks apparently has done plans. We plan to hit £10,000! A party is planned in Kildonan Hall on Saturday 25th- great fun! Everyone has accomodation except for me so I hope to sort that out before the event as the Bus Stop in Lamlash may not be too cosy and there is no where to plug in my hairdryer in a tent.

A couple of weeks ago Dr De'ath my oncologist phoned me to chirpiliy tell me that a lesion had been found in my lung....I came off the phone stunned. Last Oct ,on hearing the cancer was back in my bones I thought my head would blow up with fear, this time I just had a short snivel then a sense of unreality took over. Telling my Mum and Dad and sister on the phone was very hard.My sister told me they suddenly looked old. For the first time I truely realise it IS worse for the family to bear. I'm just pootling along, getting on with things, having the odd queer moment but mostly blanking it out or pretending its a big mistake, or spending money (escapism, that's my excuse, better stop soon!)

Off to Arran tomorrow to sleep and beachcomb. No more wine, need to lose at least a stone to get into my new wetsuit. I can't actually move my arms in it just now, and its down to my ankles so I tip up like a synchronized swimmer in the water. Must practice, jellyfish or not....

I've been trying to sell myself to the BBC and the Sunday Post to raise more money, even offering to be The Token Cripple, telling my dramatic, moving story, doing a Lance Armstrong kind of thing in the Firth Of Clyde. Dunno if they are buying it, but maybe we shall scrape into the Arran Banner - a small paragraph would be fine!

Other hoolet online articles by Ali Bodie can be found at:
hoolet edition 49 - Perched on her Electric Chair
hoolet edition 48 - A Different Holy Aisle
hoolet edition 47 - Swimming up the Aisle
hoolet edition 46 - Support Groups and New York, New York
hoolet edition 45 - Cancer, Attitudes, The Cure... Not!
hoolet edition 44 - Cat In a Bag
hoolet edition 43 - Swimming Against the Tide
hoolet edition 42 - Swimming to the Holy Isle
hoolet edition 41 - Swimming In De Nile
hoolet edition 40 - Breast Lumps and Swimming

hoolet is the magazine of RCGP Scotland. It is supported intellectually, financially and emotionally by RCGP Scotland.

This issue maintained by Robert Hallam.