MODERNISING CHRISTMAS

By Emyr Gravell
Contact the author via the editor by e-mail at christopher.johnstone@ntlworld.com

Radical changes are needed if Christmas Traditions are to keep pace with changes in 21st century society,” said the Government's Christmas Czar, Mr Theo Grinch, as he unveiled details of the Government's Modernisation plan for Christmas today.

He went on to say that "it has taken a lot of consultation and "thinking outside the Christmas Box" but I am confident the plan will be an exciting forward thinking initiative guaranteed to deliver a convenient and high quality service which will improve the Christmas experience for the vast majority of voters.

Christmas traditions are still operating in a bygone age and are no longer appropriate for today's consumer oriented society. Whilst they may have been appropriate when children were happy with simple wooden toys, spinning tops and hoops and sticks this is no longer the case with the huge advances in toy technology over recent years and major increase in client’s expectations together with the associated cost implications.

Although we recognise the great contribution that Santa Clause and his staff have made to Christmas over the years changes are urgently needed. It is now increasingly agreed that the previous service was too ‘Santa Centred’ and many of the traditions were for the convenience of Santa and Toyland staff rather than children’s wants. These new plan will put my bosses, er I mean ordinary families and their wants at its heart."

The plan identifies several high impact areas briefly outlined below: -

Modernising Efficient working Practices
Santa Claus’ workshops have large numbers of staff doing repetitive and menial tasks. Given the necessary incentives and levers many could train to operate at a much higher skill level and free Santa from some of his traditional roles to concentrate on more complex tasks.

Freeing Santa's time would also allow his skills to be used in a more proactive way. The Czar wants each child to have a personal Christmas present plan for which they could consult Santa to identify their ongoing needs and develop an appropriate planned delivery strategy.

The plan also identifies a role for the expert child. These are children who already possess a lot of in depth toy experience- previously known as spoilt kids. There is great potential for using their expertise to inform and facilitate less experienced children in managing their present needs.

Access and equity
Previous Santa centered working practices mean that children are restricted to visits on Christmas Eve. They have no choice but to be in their beds with stockings ready hung up ready for his visit on this one night of the year. This one size fits all approach is no longer acceptable consumer today’s 24/7 consumer driven society. Modernisation would guarantee families choice of when Santa would call so they could fit it around their busy working lives.

Christmas was originally envisaged to provide an equitable service to all children but there are clearly large inequalities in Christmas Present quality across different areas. The National Institute for Christmas Excellence will consolidate its role in ensuring there is uniformity of quality and no postcode variation in delivery of presents.

Safety
Although there has been no clear evidence of poor performance or unacceptable practice by Santa he does have a beard and his name starts with S therefore appropriate measures will be taken to pre-empt future problems. The plan expresses concerns that Santa has unsupervised access to vulnerable individuals in their bedrooms and strongly recommends that in these circumstances, Santa is accompanied by suitably trained staff to ensure the safety of those individuals.

Better use of technology
Little use has been made of the enormous recent advances in technology. The traditional method of contacting Santa by writing on paper and allowing it to float up the chimney is inefficient and fraught with risks. The plan wants to see electronic communication developed fully. It envisages a universal electronic Present Record as part of the North Pole Information Technology (NPifT) plan.

There is also room for improved use of technology for Santa’s transport. Having an old man in a wooden sled steering a team of reindeer is extremely outdated with so many more up to date methods available now. The plan proposes modern powered vehicles with specially trained operatives and pilot studies have already been set up in several areas.

When asked about the plan Santa Claus said that it was another example of change for change’s sake which would not deliver the expected improvements in the real world. Instead it would destroy a time of magic and wide-eyed wonder which had been a long-standing source of great joy for countless children. Mr Grinch said he appreciated Santa’s concerns but robustly countered these worries by saying “Bah, humbug”

hoolet is the magazine of RCGP Scotland. It is supported intellectually, financially and emotionally by RCGP Scotland.

This issue maintained by Robert Hallam.