'A CAT IN A BAG'

By Ali Bodie
Contact the author via the editor by e-mail at christopher.johnstone@ntlworld.com

Ali Bodie Here I am, five months on from Breast Cancer Brain Secondaries Diagnosis Day. And I'm still here, how did that happen? I must have forgotten to get off at the terminus. What's more, I've NO symptoms from multiple mets!

Everyone tells me (now) they thought I'd be gone by Christmas, but Domperidone, champagne of anti emetics brought me back to life. Adhesions from my car accident were making me sick, getting weaker and weaker. And thinner and thinner. HOORAY! All that steroid poochy face gone, I was hoping for cheekbones, but alas I was cured too soon. Two weeks at my Mum and Dad's in Glasgow had me miles better, and I've been much brighter since. I never thought I'd ever get back my old life and to some extent I have.

I've even been back to my beloved Arran. On the way home my sister Elaine and I sat outside on the ferry and watched Arran disappear, no hysterics from me this time. I'm either getting to go back or at least I'm at peace having been there again. Today the breast care nurse phoned, she said "You have mets to L4 and L5,you need to come in for radiation". I was totally laid back about this, I mean, what better back pain to get? A quick nuke and its gone! They were diagnosed on X-ray so I requested another bone scan just to protect my reputation as a Bolshy Cow. My 2nd December bone scan was negative, fancy that.

On Wednesday I have a brain scan, I'm in two minds (ha ha HAR!) about this; I'd like to know what's going on in my head, on the other hand I might find I'm going to go bonkers at any moment.

To this end (going bonkers) I am trying to eradicate every swear word from my day to day vocabulary, watching Father Ted and learning to say ‘Fec.k’ I have horrible vision of me sitting in Cottage Hospital in pink Granny Nightie and Cancer Princess Tiara, swearing at the nurses, Garrrrr! My mother would never get over it.

I am still planning my funeral,my latest tunes to be played are The Verve,The Drugs Don't Work (hence title of this article,deep or what?)......and Tubular Bells theme from the Exorcist. Elton John's Funeral For A friend is a great entrance number and Annie Lennox Into The West (its the seagulls that clinched it) as I leave.

I hope to be contributing again in June, from Arran, hot sunny day over Holy Isle, sipping G&T on the terrace as I type.

See you then

PS Lamlash Splash raised £10,000 for Maggie Centre Dundee Garden, I got to choose the Gehry/Jenks design! The Splash is on the 17th Sept this year. If I'm vaguely fit I'll be doing it, might pass on the Brodick to Troon swim though.

Other hoolet online articles by Ali Bodie can be found at:
hoolet edition 49 - Perched on her Electric Chair
hoolet edition 48 - A Different Holy Aisle
hoolet edition 47 - Swimming up the Aisle
hoolet edition 46 - Support Groups and New York, New York
hoolet edition 45 - Cancer, Attitudes, The Cure... Not!
hoolet edition 44 - Cat In a Bag
hoolet edition 43 - Swimming Against the Tide
hoolet edition 42 - Swimming to the Holy Isle
hoolet edition 41 - Swimming In De Nile
hoolet edition 40 - Breast Lumps and Swimming

hoolet is the magazine of RCGP Scotland. It is supported intellectually, financially and emotionally by RCGP Scotland.

This issue maintained by Robert Hallam.