THE OWL OF THE YEAR?

Meet Woo Butler, or Wise Old Owl.

Woo became a Butler several years ago, when I was irresistibly drawn (again) into the shop called the Swiss Chocolatier. One of the unexpected benefits of living in the fantastic state of Tasmania is the presence of incredible immigrants who contribute to our reputation as a gourmet state. Out of the churning sea came the Swiss chocolatier, still the best after twenty years here and the stuff of legends. Let me tell you about his Easter bunnies driving sports cars, or running away from home wearing backpacks, or about his gingerbread houses. All are meticulously handcrafted and transcend this earthly realm into magic. The smiles and goosebumps they raise! Imagine devoting an entire professional life to creating beings out of chocolate. I had to stop buying Easter bunnies because they are so full of personality my husband refused to eat them. I won't tell you the colours they turned before ultimate oral disposal.

Back to Woo. A few years ago he sang out to me in the shop, where I'd gone for the best marzipan I've ever eaten. (How much nicer to be recognised by the chocolate man than by a bank teller.) Woo's body is gingerbread and his feathers and ear ornaments are almonds. Everything else, including his eyes, is hardened sugar. His pupils used to be chocolate. Woo may appear to have cataracts, but this resulted from a) melting in the car and b) licking.

You may notice a ragged bottom. This occurred in a panic one night when I thought my husband (an ex-GP and now epidemiologist specialising in the effects of global eco-system change on human well-being) was going to devour Woo. Once he started I knew I'd be sunk, so I had the first nibble. I misunderstood, and still suffer spousal barbs of outrage. I'm made to feel like a cannibal regularly.

Woo has a special place in the bedroom. He is crumbless and odourless. Unfortunately, one morning when the seasons were changing we discovered him crawling with ants, despite being varnished. Since then he's had to live encased in plastic with occasional excursions in the fresh air.

Woo has become a valued addition to our family. We can't imagine life without him and wonder to whom to leave him in our wills. Could we bequeath him to hoolet?”

Susan has also revealed her passion for sheep. Visit www.hoolet.org.uk for more amazin revelations.

Other hoolet online articles by The Parliament can be found at:
hoolet edition 45 - Somerled Fergusson Tribute
hoolet edition 43 - An Agenda For Chaperoning

hoolet is the magazine of RCGP Scotland. It is supported intellectually, financially and emotionally by RCGP Scotland.

This issue maintained by Robert Hallam.