SANDYJIM SAVES THE DAY

Once upon a time there was a GP called Dr Sandyjim. He was glum. It had been a very busy day in Toytown surgery. First there had been Noddy with a rusty bell. Dr Sandyjim had given him some cream and some stern words about safe adventuring. Next there had been an asylum seeking bear who wanting a certificate to say there was no marmalade in Peru. Sandyjim said no and the bear was very angry. He gave Sandyjim a hard stare. Then, just as Sandyjim had thought it was time to go home for tea the surgery door opened. Who should come in but Hugh, Pugh, Barney MacGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb! They had strains, pains, broken veins, fractures, bruises and cuts - rioting in Trumpton again. “Oh bother”, thought Sandyjim, as be busily patched them up. Then, by the time he had finished Pooh was at reception demanding Tigger's Ritalin prescription. It wasn't quite ready. “Hmmmmpphh!” said Pooh.

Now he was rushing to the Out of Hours Castle and he knew it would be jolly busy. Dr Sandyjim used to love his out of hours work. He soared all over Toytown with his driver Rupert. Meanwhile back at the castle Dr Balance O'Probabilities and Dr Ken Fitimdaein spoke on the jellyphone to all the worried little pixies, elves and gnomes and decided where Sandyjim and Rupert should go first.

Then, one day a beautiful princess had arrived in Toytown riding a lovely white horse. Everyone loved the Princess. She travelled the land and everyone could see how very special she was. Everyone wanted to please the princess so everything she wanted she was given. One day she decided she wanted to do Dr Balance O'Probabilities and Dr Ken Fitimdaein jobs. They didn't think it was very princessy, but were delighted and skipped away hand in hand. Then a terrible thing happened. The beautiful princess turned into a dithery person in a polyester uniform and the lovely white horse became a snarling black evil machine. Oh no! The people of Toytown had all been tricked! It wasn't a princess at all - it was Twominds Terri the triage nurse and Potty Porus the protocol computer. Cackling ominously they dashed to a cave by the riverside to begin their dithery deeds!

From that day on everyone was glum at the out of hour castle. Windy Miller, home visit at three in the morning, better after a good windypop, but it might have been a bowel infarction. An itchy rash on Thomas's coal hopper, it's probably Kawasaki's disease, get there straight away.

Well Sandyjim had had enough. He had a plan. As they flew round Toytown that night he asked Rupert to stop at every jellyphone box they passed. Rupert wondered what Sandyjim was up to, but he said it was a surprise.

It turned out that their shift wasn't that bad at all. In fact it had almost been like the old days. When they were finished Sandyjim suggested flying home by the riverside. Then, there by the cave was a wonderful site! Twominds Terri stood wailing and crying beside the smouldering remains of Potty Porus!

When they got back to the out of hours castle Dr Balance O'Probabilities and Dr Ken Fitimdaein were dancing around, thankfully not in the altogether. But how had Sandyjim done it, they wanted to know. Sandyjim laughed as he told them. Each time they had stopped at a jellyphone box he had phoned Twominds Terri pretending to be a sick citizen of Toytown. He had been Bigears with an itchy toe and smelly breath, Orinoco feeling very tired, some little gnomes and elves that were “so thirsty they were choking” or “had a funny rash”. He had finished off with a few residents of old dwarves homes who “just weren't right.” When Terri had typed this into Potty Porus he had at first started to churn out a lot of gibberish. She hadn't noticed that. But she did notice when he exploded! Hurray! Sandyjim had saved the day. They all celebrated with lashings of Costco coffee.