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A FAIRY TALE

By Alex Thain
Contact the author by e-mail at info@ardlarich.co.uk

Once upon a time, there was a special day at a special gathering in the north of Pictia. It was the day of the yearly meeting of Generalist Bears (GB's) and their apprentices (GBA's). Bears had come from near and far to hear the thoughts of Irsmit the Wise, an older bear who spoke well and loved to involve the apprentice Bears.

The gathering hushed as Irsmit rose on his claws, adjusted the spectacles on his snout and spoke to the gathering. "Well Bears, today I shall be brief for today is a day to help our apprentices think and contemplateÉ" He left the phrase hanging, knowing that this would interest the GBA's and amuse the more venerable Bears in the audience.

"So, apprentice Bears" began Irsmit "What's the emblem of the GB's?"

"A Wol" cried out a keen GBA

"And why?" came the seamless reply. The apprentice looked little more hesitant.

"Because it's wise" he replied "and hunts in the dark" he added quickly as laughter flowed around the room.

"It's wise" reflected Irsmit "But here in Pictia it has a different name, a name coined by the Seer Olgan!"

At the mention of Olgan, a calm fell on the gathering as the Bears fell silent with their own thoughts. "Olgan the Seer" resumed Irsmit "conceived of a Writing, worthy of Pictian GB's and it was named Olleth, after our own name for the Wol. The name came after some debate and legend decrees that the Somerled the Word had conceived of the name and offered his deliberations to Olgan. Some time after the naming the Olleth, Olgan handed it's guidance to Crijon the Writer whose safe paws continue to guide it."

The apprentices knew many of these stories already and recalled how the Pictian Bears were joined with their colleagues from Salew, North Reland and Negland to make up the Great Gathering of Tribish Generalist Bears- indeed most of the apprentices were desperate to join the Great Gathering.

"So Olgan knew that the Pictians were different" continued Irsmit "but how were they different?" He let the silence hang again until an apprentice cried out

"Tailball, we invented tailball..."

"Aye, Terbax and Kennidahl were great tailbaw players!" interjected another.

Irsmit waited for the amusement to subside, acutely aware that the audience knew well of his own involvement in tailball.

"Anything else" Irsmit enquired casually.

"Dialect, lik' Cridor" said another apprentice somewhat sheepishly. Most Cridor speakers were greatly skilled in sheep matters.

"Wisely spoken young Bear" said Irsmit "for those were also the words of Olrand the Teacher". Again a pause of silence rippled around the room for the GB's knew of Olrand who had made a great journey from deepest Negland to come and work among them. Olrand was celebrated and revered for his teachings on teaching and the Bears had learned much from his ways.

Irsmit paused as the implications sank in before delivering his brief but apposite point. "So perhaps Olgan's message, both in spirit and deed remains true, and you may all wish to consider the phrase the same but different". Irsmit sat down to a rousing reception as the bears applauded for some time before leaving the hall to mix and meet as only Bears can.

Irsmit was greatly pleased to overhear the phrase many times that evening "The same but different"

Cast:

Irsmit the Wise: Dr Ian Smith retired GP, stalwart of the RCGP, 37 years of service and no signs of stopping.

Olgan the Seer: Dr Alec Logan, first editor of Hoolet and now found editing the back pages of the BJGP

Somerled the Word: The late Dr Somerled Fergusson, long time contributor to Hoolet and the RCGP - sadly missed

Crijon the Writer: Chris Johnstone

Olleth: The mighty Hoolet itself

Terbax: Jim Baxter, as fine a football player as ever graced a Scottish jersey

Kennidahl: Kenny Dalgleish, Scotland's most capped football player

Olrand the Teacher: Dr Roland Spencer-Jones, whose migration North revitalised education

Cridor: Doric, the occasionally unintelligible dialect of the North East

Other hoolet online articles by Alex Thain can be found at:
hoolet edition 50 - A Fairy Tale
hoolet edition 49 - A Tale of Two Addicts
hoolet edition 48 - The Supporter
hoolet edition 47 - Cannon Fodder
hoolet edition 46 - The Commercial Imperative Alternative
hoolet edition 46 - The Commercial Imperative Assassin
hoolet edition 45 - A Lateral Thought
hoolet edition 44 - The Watching
hoolet edition 43 - The Child Within
hoolet edition 42 - If Kipling were a GP
hoolet edition 42 - Of Directors, Philosophers and Poets
hoolet edition 40- Of Knees and Knickers
hoolet edition 39- Neighbour meets Norton
hoolet edition 38- Embarrassment
hoolet edition 37- From the Book of Negotiators
hoolet edition 36 - Practice Visit By WH Audit
hoolet edition 35 - The Bells, The Bells. . . .
hoolet edition 34 - Talking Urine
hoolet edition 33 - Reflections on Reggie Perrin
hoolet edition 32 - Myth 1 Logic 1
hoolet edition 31 - Poems
hoolet edition 30 - One Size Fits All
hoolet edition 29 - Downwardly Mobile
hoolet edition 28 - From the mouths of babes
hoolet edition 27 - On Losing Their Child

hoolet is the magazine of RCGP Scotland. It is supported intellectually, financially and emotionally by RCGP Scotland.

This issue maintained by Robert Hallam.