ON BEING A MAN

By Blair Smith
Contact the author by e-mail at christopher.johnstone@ntlworld.com

Billy Connolly observed that, with the currently prevailing laws of political correctness, white heterosexual males are the only remaining population sub-group at which people are allowed to poke fun. And so they do. At home, we put this to the test, in a prospective study of television commercials. The inclusion criteria were that the advert was (intended to be) humorous, and that the humour was based on an individual being made to look foolish. Results: from twenty-five consecutive eligible adverts, the victims were:

White heterosexual males - 25
All other sub-groups - 0

See if you can replicate these results yourself, or find similar examples elsewhere (such as jokes circulated on email). Gauge the unacceptable effect of substituting a member of another sub-group as the victim. Meanwhile reflect on the causes and effects. The causes are probably rooted in the fact that, for centuries in the West, white heterosexual males (hereinafter referred to WHM) have been the dominant group, and have often exerted this dominance by subjugation of all other groups. In modern times, the need to end such oppression has been recognized, along with a consequent need for all individuals from outwith this group to be able to express themselves. The above results therefore reflect both 'payback' and removal of barriers - one negative and one positive. Among the effects, however, is the gradual but continuous erosion of self-confidence among men. Given our long history, one might suggest that it is about time for this to happen, and it is certainly inarguable that women and men should have equal access to opportunities at work, home and the media, regardless of colour or sexual orientation. But the way to do this should be by promoting the positives in everyone, rather than demeaning some. As an individual, it was not I who withheld the right of women to vote, outlawed homosexuality or introduced slavery. Honestly. These were not my fault, yet I am sometimes made to feel responsible, and often made to feel guilty. The sheepish expression on the actor's face at the end of the commercial represents this guilt.

More importantly, they were not my patients' fault. I have had a run recently of male patients presenting with depressive symptoms, or rather presenting with other symptoms that subsequently turned out to be caused by these. The trouble was their difficulty, with which we are all familiar, in expressing these. Loss of face and the appearance of weakness or error run so contrary to a man's approach to his life that he would rather suffer devastating symptoms internally than admit these openly, especially to another man. He models himself on the centuries-old image of the dominant WHM, despite the fact that this is no longer appropriate, and, threatened by the falling regard in which he is held as a member of this group, questions his role and identity. This falling self-esteem exacerbates his depression, but also makes it harder to acknowledge. Eventually he turns to his GP (if he is one of the minority of depressed men who does so, rather than to drink or suicide) with a spurious presenting symptom and mental health in an advanced state of disrepair. His right to be there is not affirmed by the preponderance of women's and children's health promotion posters, or waiting room tables laden with women's magazines. When he comes into my surgery, we begin our communication with a sub-conscious face-down, during which I challenge his approach and he tries to look indomitable, or 'hard'. Eventually, but only at the point in the consultation where I introduce mental health to the discussion, this tension breaks, a sigh is released, and he finally has permission to explain his true emotions. These turn out to be far removed from those of your classical WHM, but normal for anybody else. Healing can now begin.

Tammy Wynette tells us that '[s]ometimes it's hard to be a woman'. Of course, she's right, and depression is difficult for anybody to admit. But sometimes it's hard to be a man too, and we (society, doctors) don't always make it any easier.

The other morning I had a road encounter with White Van Man, who came around the corner too fast and close, clipping my wing mirror. Both being (I presume) WHM, we were programmed to respond accordingly - I because I could not allow my children to see me passive in the face of this attack, and he because I sounded my horn aggressively, jumped out of my car and questioned his driving skills and parentage loudly. The shouting match continued and descended, while the magnitude and pitch of the accusations ascended, with no clear victor. Then something clicked and we both realized we had let our instincts take over uncritically. After a simple check that neither of our cars had sustained any damage, we apologized, shook hands and went on our way. I had fulfilled my perceived duty as a man, but would prefer my children to construct their model of manhood only from the handshaking bit.

Two days later, I was privileged to perform in Verdi's Requiem, a monumental work and an unforgettable experience. Singing in the bass section, I was part of a group contributing something essential and uniquely male. This was real 'man's work', and, along with the 'women's work' from the soprano and alto sections, interpreted the great and exhilarating whole that Verdi scored. (We won't mention the tenors, because they were a wee bit funny.) This was men and women together creating a positive world by doing what only each could do. We relied on and appreciated each other, and could not afford to lose or demean. Surely this is how life, the media, TV commercials, and our surgeries should be. This is not a plea for political correctness, but health promotion.

Other hoolet online articles by Blair Smith can be found at:
hoolet edition 49 - Ethics and Repression in the Bloo Toon
hoolet edition 48 - May The Best Team Win
hoolet edition 47 - Hunting Pink Elephants
hoolet edition 46 - Predictive Texting
hoolet edition 45 - Role Models
hoolet edition 44 - Time To Go Killorglin'
hoolet edition 43 - Salt and Shake
hoolet edition 42 - Stepping up the Pace of Life
hoolet edition 41 - Smoking out the Irish Question
hoolet edition 40 - Not Cricket
hoolet edition 39 - Anniversaries and Predictions
hoolet edition 38 - Is There Life on Mars?
hoolet edition 36 - Onwards and Upwards
hoolet edition 35 - Goal of the Season‘s Greetings
hoolet edition 34 - Chickens and Eggs
hoolet edition 33 - On Shifting Goalposts
hoolet edition 32 - Period Zero
hoolet edition 30 - Annual Appraisal
hoolet edition 29 - Working Towards Scotland's Healthier Children For Us All 2020 and A Framework for Maternity Services in Scotland
hoolet edition 28 - In Memoriam Admiral Byng. A cautionary Tale

hoolet is the magazine of RCGP Scotland. It is supported intellectually, financially and emotionally by RCGP Scotland.

This issue maintained by Robert Hallam.