THE TRUTH ABOUT DONALDSON

By hoolet's mole in Whitehall
Contact the author by e-mail at christopher.johnstone@ntlworld.com

All You Wanted to Know About Donaldson, But Were Afraid To Ask

hoolet's mole in Whitehall has been busy again and here found on a crumpled piece of paper in a wastepaper bin in the Department of Health are some of the recommendations that didn't make the final draft of the Donaldson report. Or will they?

All locum doctors to be electronically tagged and to have to report to their local GMC affiliate weekly.

CCTV to be installed in the surgeries of single handed doctors and doctors nearing retirement.

The GMC to mark the introduction of the new system of recertification by holding first public auto-da-fe in Tavistock Square.

Free 24 hour phone hot lines to be set up to fast-track the public denunciation and naming and shaming of reactionaries who have for whatever reason failed their patients.

New GMC affiliates to be distinguished from rest of medical workforce (who lets face it are all really only as yet undetected under performing doctors) by elegant black uniform and shiny knee high boots.

All GMC affiliates to have henchmen (sorry administrative assistants) called Igor. (Mr Putin has offered to source these chaps for us)

Appraisal should be beefed up so whilst retaining a very strict developmental approach more robust objective educational tools should be introduced such as thumbscrews, the strapado, the rack and nipple clamps.

Gordon Ramsey to replace Sir Graham Catto as President of GMC and to lead presentation of weekly prime time Ramsey's Surgery Nightmares.

GMC to establish intensive retraining facility for those with QOF score below 1000 ( apparently may be some slack in Guantanemo Bay that could be utilised)

There was more, but it was so draconian you just would not have believed it.

hoolet is the magazine of RCGP Scotland. It is supported intellectually, financially and emotionally by RCGP Scotland.

This issue maintained by Robert Hallam.